Happy Sexiest Man Alive Day

What? It's not a holiday? Well, it should be.

This year, People put Bradley Cooper on the cover of its annual issue devoted to hot men.

Objectifying people is so wrong.

But being right is no fun. So let's get busy objectifying.

Here's my personal Sexiest Man Alive list:

1. George Clooney. Duh.
I'm extremely loyal. George would have to burn down an orphanage and kill a kitten to lose my devotion. And, even then, I would forgive him if the orphanage was empty and the kitten had it coming.

This kitten has it coming.

2. Ryan Gosling
In my opinion, this was the year Ryan Gosling should have been Sexiest Man Alive. He's launched an Internet meme. In 2011, he starred in not one, not two, but three critically acclaimed films. Sure, Bradley Cooper can speak French, but is he just as amazing when he says nothing at all?

3. Jon Hamm

He plays the suave, mysterious Don Draper on Mad Men. (I miss Mad Men.) He was hilarious in Bridesmaids and during his guest turn on 30 Rock. He's goofy as can be. He looks amazing in a tuxedo. He has a five o' clock shadow all day long.

There's no doubt about it. Hamm is a delicious treat.





4. Joe Manganiello 

If you watch True Blood, you know who this is. If you don't, I'm just going to leave this here for your consideration.

5. Christopher Plummer as Captain Von Trapp

Oh, shut up.
For me, The Sound of Music ends as soon as Captain Von Trapp and Maria admit they love each other. The rest is just a bunch of running from Nazis. If you've seen any interviews with Christopher Plummer in recent years, you know he's still bad ass.