Winter is the Worst

Valentine's Day is a pain in my ass.

"I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood." Bill Watterson

Oh winter, must we go through this every year? 

It’s no secret that I hate this time of year. I fantasize about living the sort of life where I can go to a tropical island every December and I don’t have to come back until late February (after the most bull shit holiday ever, Valentine’s Day).

I’m not one of those people who adores Christmas and everything that comes with it. The main thing I feel about it is anxiety. I have no money. I have an 11-year-old daughter who asks that multiple things, including an iPad, be added to her Christmas list every day.

                                                                                    

I don't want to be a Grinch.

I do my part. The first Christmas after Charles died, I went to the Boy Scout Christmas tree lot, picked out a tree with my daughter, Kate, and watched as two scouts tied it to the roof of my car. At home, I dragged it in the house and managed to get it into the tree stand by myself. The first year you do something by yourself is the hardest. It gets easier after that.

I try my best to be enthusiastic about the holiday. I might like it more if it wasn’t smack in the middle of winter. Hello, winter. I say “winter” the way Seinfeld always said “Newman.” Winter sucks.

 
I made a list of the ways winter bites. But I’m going to try to come up with positive things to say about this time of year. Instead of “Bah humbug,” I’ll try to say something chipper, something like “Yea! More rain is awesome!” or “Yippee, I sure do love the color gray! Blue skies are so overrated.”

Here are a few other ways I'm going to change my thinking from negative to positive:

1. I hate being cold. I love wearing scarves and fuzzy socks. 

2. I hate shopping for Christmas gifts. I love wrapping Christmas gifts. 

3. Christmas songs make me sad. I love watching my favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard. Don't tell me it's not a Christmas movie. It features an awesome Christmas song (one that won't make you cry). 

4. I hate gloomy, gray, rainy days. I love reading while curled up under a blanket on the sofa. 

5. I hate that I can’t sit on my back patio drinking cocktails while cooking dinner on the grill. I like toasting marshmallows in the fireplace, making s’mores, and drinking red wine. 

6. I hate that it gets dark before 5 pm. I love putting my pajamas on at 5 pm. 

 
7. I hate that all I want to do is eat fattening comfort food while wearing sweatpants. I love that I don’t have to shave my legs. At all. Ever.

8. I hate snow.  I love Calvin & Hobbes winter comic strips. Calvin makes the best snowmen. I'll try to think about winter as nothing more than a swift sled ride into spring.