No, it's not cute. Sorry. Maxi is a straight road to Maxi Pad and you know it. Have you forgotten everything you learned in elementary and middle school?
Maybe little Maxwell will insist on being called by her name. No nicknames allowed.
Yesterday, my dad called and told me one of his favorite stories about my mom. He was reminded of it because he has a new co-worker who has my mom's name and, like my mom, doesn't go by a shorter version. I've heard the story before, of course, from both my dad and my mom, but it's always funny. It tells you a lot you need to know about my mom, like No. 1: Don't F*ck With Her.
When my parents were married and my dad was still in the Navy, the two of them attended a dinner with some other officers. One of them was the executive officer and second in command on my dad's ship. He was there with his wife.
Introductions were made. My mom's name is Elizabeth and the wife of the executive officer was Helen.
Helen said to my mother, "I'll call you Liz!"
And my mother, who goes by Elizabeth and always has, said, "Oh good. And I'll call you Hell."
My mom is awesome and always has been.
They call me Elizabeth. |
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